Pain As Deep As An Ocean

Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart: Wait I say one the Lord. 
Psalm 27:14

But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, He shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you. 
John 14:26 KJV

The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.
Psalm 34:18

In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. 1 Thes 5:18 

Since I've been writing and sharing, a few people have approached me as to whether or not I feel called to preach the gospel. That'd be a HUGE no. I think of myself as more of an encourager, somewhat akin to Joel Osteen, like a cheerleader, minus the 9M followers. I mean, really dude is no preacher by any stretch of the imagination, as am I not. I do, however,  like to help folk feel better. You need a sounding board, look no further. You need a ride or die, just have some bail money ready. I try very hard to be there for people I love and anyone really, if you have no one to unload on or to, I'm your girl. I makes me feel so good, doing what the Lord instructed us to do, and bearing another's burdens.

But there are times when the I get knocked down, flat on my face. Where do I go? Inward most times, a couple of friends and other times to my pastor. Life comes at you so fast, like a speeding out of control train. And there you are, a train wreck. Sometimes things so unexpected it lets the wind out of our sails, and in all honesty we collapse under the pressure. Some of us. Some are stronger than others, and can withstand the hurricane winds of life and are slowed for a minute. Others of us need a while to get back up. But we do. We rise.

Unforeseen circumstances can push you into the ground, even if you consider yourself well grounded. The loss of a loved one, unexpectedly, is crushing, debilitating, and life altering. Part of us never recover. Add to this loss one quite young, which is insult to injury. All death is bruising, and shakes us to our very core. Losing a parent is very difficult. But rationally, it's the natural order of things. However, sometime that order is disturbed and it's a child, or a young adult. Someone who's lived very little life is suddenly snatched from our grasp. This is not to diminish losing a parent or spouse, on the contrary. Those types of losses will have one paralyzed with grief and you feel you will never get any relief. But again, our children.... We grapple with this loss and most times, it very nearly kills the parent as well, if they don't have a strong support system. People really do die of broken hearts.

Then we go though the five stages of grief. Denial (which I'm currently in for my daughter's bestie, as I cannot believe this has happened), anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance. I'm sure it's going to take her daughter, family and my daughter a long time to process this loss. We may not understand His way or like His will, but through this devastating storm, we must praise Him despite this mind numbing pain. This too, is His will.

So what do we do? All I can think of is the afore mentioned Psalms. We must wait on the Lord to strengthen us knowing that He will send the Comforter to be near to us in this time of grieving.
That's all I got. Loss is rough. I've lost both my parents, all my uncles, my only aunt, my brother and countless cousins and friends. It never EVER gets easier, but no matter what God is always with us. Sad to say, loss is compounded during the holidays. That empty space no one can replace.

So to everyone not exactly feeling the upcoming holidays, due to the loss of a loved one, just surround yourselves with family and people who love you. Draw near to God and he will draw near to you. And remember, to be absent in the body is to be present with the Lord. 

                                              We will always love you Paige Lampkin

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Kupendana  

What Makes God Frown?

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding; in all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your path. Proverbs 3:5-6 NKJV
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2Timothy 1:7 NKJV  

Fear is insidious, and relentless and will kill your hopes, dreams and aspirations. It will make you withdraw from the world and become a spectator, when you should be living the life you awaken to each day. It's debilitating. It's crushing. And as the scripture above says, it's definitely NOT of God.
So you know who it's from then. The enemy, who seeks to kill, steal and destroy(John 10:10).

So why, so often are we so fear filled? Why so scared? Why do we have so much trouble navigating through life, not believing we are deserving of God's best, instead of latching on to what he never intends for us to have, namely fear?

It's our lack of faith. Our level of trust. Sometimes our faith is so low it doesn't even reach the bottom of our shoes. How must that make God feel? As you've no doubt heard before, we place our entire trust in pilots, train conductors, bus drivers and even our own ability behind the wheel. But when it comes to God, and trusting in His great love and affection for us, some of us fall short every time. We trust that paycheck coming. But we don't trust the One who insures it arrives. We stumble with faith. And lately, I have. And it really made me wonder, what must God think? He gives us the ability to not only open our eyes each day, but to throw our legs over the side of the bed to walk, and many times we give no thought to that, we just wake up, assuming we'll have the activity of our limbs. But the big things, we come up short. You know what

your big things are, as I do what mine are. But this must stop. We must stop. Fear is from the enemy. Why should we adhere to anything in the enemy's camp? People are fond of stating that in the Bible God instructs us to "fear not" 365, once for each day. Actually, that's inaccurate, KJV says it 103 times, but that's enough for me to know He really doesn't want us operating in fear.

So let's trust more. Let's look for God in EVERYTHING. Let's give Him His due in both the small and big things in life. Let's walk out in faith. He's never failed us. What seemed like a failure was probably a re-direction. We were going the wrong way and He did what He had to do to get us back on our path. We must believe and trust that He has our highest good in mind when things don't go to suit us, or don't go as planned. TRUST! TRUST! TRUST! FAITH! FAITH! FAITH! He requires faith. And He doesn't load us down with requirements, just the ten and FAITH. Hebrews 11:6 Says, without faith it is impossible to please God.

Kids have enormous faith and trust. Let's emulate them. They don't worry about anything, because they know we got 'em.  Let's act like we know our Heavenly Father has us!

Fear is the stinkweed of life that makes God frown.

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Pancreatic Cancer. Part 3

Pancreatic cancer has numerous warning signs and symptoms. Unfortunately, many times the symptoms mimic other less serious illnesses, and is often disregarded until far too late. They are as follows:   

• jaundice
• weight loss

dark colored urine

• itchy skin
• digestive problems, including abnormal stools, nausea and vomiting
• pain in the upper abdomen, which may extend to the back
• nausea
• appetite loss
• swollen gallbladder(usually found by a doctor during a physical exam)
• blood clots
• diabetes
  

Signs of advanced pancreatic cancer

• worsening upper abdomen or back pain, especially after eating or lying down
• extreme fatigue
• swelling
• bed sores
• recntly diagnosed diabetes
  
• depression

There are no symptoms in the vey early stages. Later stages are associated with symptoms, but these can be non specific, such as lack of appetite and weight loss.

Treatment depends upon the stage.

Treatment may include surgically removing the pancreas, radiation and chemotherapy.

Chemotherapy, radiation and surgery are the main treatments.

Ablation or embolization treatments for pancreatic cancer.

Tagged therapy

Immunotherapy for pancreatic cancer

Pain control for pancreatic caner.

Chemotherapy is said to be the most effective tool in riding someone of pancreatic cancer, Gemcitabine has been the most wildly used chemotherapy drug for treating metastatic pancreas cancer. Chemotherapy is usually prescribe for 3 to 12 weeks after surgery.

In all honesty, if this type of cancer is not discovered until stage four, then the chances are abysmal at best.
On a personal note, up until recently, I'd always read it was rare. Lately, I've learned of several moms of friends and acquaintances who've passed on from this. It's also stated that more men suffer with this than women. I'd say it's probably equally split. But one thing I know for sure, it's no longer rare. A young man I met at a conference from Oklahoma told me his mom had just passed a couple of years ago from this. Rare? I think not.

So let's all make every effort to listen to our bodies. If something seems to linger, check it out. Like I always say, the life you save may be your own.

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All Dogs Go To Heaven

I could not recall nor find any verse that had tot do with dogs in a positive manner. Nevertheless here we go...

I believe dogs do go to heaven. I believe God created dogs, just as he did us and every living creature under the sun. His word in Genesis says so. I don't understand why he created spiders, snakes, roaches and mice, and will have a conversation with Him about that once I get home.

Unlike cats, who may actually love their human parent, although mostly hard to tell, and could take us or leave us, canines let their feelings be known.

Dogs are the most loving, loyal and giving animals on the planet. They are blessed with an attitude of gratitude and appreciate everything you do for them. Dogs love unconditionally. You can roll up paper to discipline them, and five minutes later all is forgiven and forgotten and they're loving all over you.  Even miscreants who treat them extremely poorly, still have undying love for their humans. It's amazing. Dogs can be your very best friend, if you let them, which is why they are called to be emotional support animals and helpers. They can be your oldest, youngest or even your middle child. They are sounding boards like none other. They feel too. This is kind of embarrassing, but I'll share to give you non dog owners a glimpse into my beloved Friday(whom I named for the movie).

Friday has gone on to doggie heaven, sadly. He was 130 pound, pure bred, white German Shepherd. He loved my kids and me until the day he died. When the reality of my impending divorce hit me, I broke down one day in my recliner. Friday watched for a minute or two, came over, and put his head on my lap. When I tried to move him away, he placed his paw next to his head, and without raising his head he looked up at me. He just stared until that episode subsided. Then I laughed when I got a picture of what it must look like my dog consoling me. He jumped up, licked my face, and went back to his favorite spot, lying down in front of the couch. Another time, when my mom was dying, I brought her to my home so I and my kids could care for her, since we'd been told she only had a couple of weeks left at most.. I'd been sitting with her and decided I was hungry and went into the kitchen to make a snack. Of course, Friday followed me into the kitchen, which is the practice of every dog on the planet. A couple of minutes later, he darts past me. Then the wailing starts. At first, I thought someone was at the door, but remembered he'd be barking his head off. He ran back into the kitchen still wailing and I followed him. He stretched out in front of my mom and began whimpering. My mom was gone. That bothered me for a long time. I wasn't gone five minutes. Two weeks turned into two and a half days. But this goes to show, they know things. Believe it or not! And they are superior judges of character.

I believe out of all God's creation, with the exception of us, of course, God really and truly blessed us when he created dogs. Dogs are, next to family the best companion you can have. They'll watch your kids, guard your home and love you with reckless abandon. The ASPCA commercials really upset me. If you don't want your dog, for whatever reasons any longer, give it to the human society. Some believe, I've read, you should never get rid of a dog, that they are a family member. We love them like a family member, but in actuality, they are not. It's selfish to keep a dog when you can no longer care for it. Situations arise. Kids come along with allergies, you can no longer afford to care for him properly. Even a move. I feel some people shouldn't be so judgmental.

My current dog, Haki (Swahili for Justice) is a trip. He gets on my last nerves some days. I feel guilty I come home so tired most days and don't give him the attention he so richly deserves. But I've told him to hold on a few more months and things will be different.

I've had dogs since my infancy. I've experienced a lot of doggie deaths. Friday had throat cancer. Another dog was poisoned by a neighbor but he'd never admit it. One had the audacity to take off. A couple succumbed to old age.

My personal opinion, I think every homeowner, and especially one with children owe it to themselves to let this great protector and lover of their human family into their home. It's an expense, no, doubt, but the rewards are enumerable. If only we humans could master loving unconditionally like canines. It's like a glimpse of God's love. No matter what. Unfailing. This earth in general and America in particular would be so much more a beautiful place if we loved each other like our dogs love us.

So yes, I really do believe, spirit or soul or not, all dogs do go to heaven.

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What Do You Carry With You Daily?

Most of us do, I like to think, but a few of us do not.You won't find it in the bottom of woman's bag, nor any man's wallet. Not in a pocket, jeans, coat or otherwise. But it's on display almost constantly. What is it, you may be asking? In a word, INTEGRITY.

Proverbs 10:9 He who walks with integrity walks securely, But he who perverts his ways will become known. KJV

Merriam-Webster describe integrity as: firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic value. INCORRUPTIBILITY. I am constantly amazed at the lack of integrity in today's society. It's astonishing the way some folk are today.

Three examples come to mind.
Just yesterday, there were a couple of abandoned buggies at my local grocers that charges for the use of their carts. A quarter. No big deal. I got one and was glad that I didn't have to go through the abyss otherwise known as my purse to retrieve the coin. A guy who pulled up almost simultaneously by me apparently felt the same way as he sprinted to the other, once sighted. We shop, check out and bag our items at almost the same time. Once outside the door, I remove my items and leave the buggy for the next person, because I didn't have to pay for it, as it was abandoned. This guy had more groceries, rolled the cart to his vehicle, returned it, and pushed the mechanism to get a quarter back. Now mind you, he didn't pay the low rental price of .25c, but he felt the need to take the money anyway.
Tellers in banks and credit unions, along with cashiers in stores run into people with no integrity all the time. When given too much change, they call it a blessing. I think not! I blessing for you shouldn't have the ability to be job loss for me. It's easy to get confused when there's a sea of people and their gripping and complaining, You tend to want to pick up the pace. That extra $10 you got some clerk may have to pay back. Or worse. But the integrity lacking person never thinks beyond his or her own circumstance. I worked with a woman who had to pay several hundred dollars back, because one of our very own coworkers couldn't resist helping themselves to her cash box. No integrity whatsoever! And went on to work with her until they finally caught up to the culprit. Side by side. No qualms, no remorse. NOTHING!
Which brings me to the current inhabitant of the oval. I've never seen such a lack of integrity in any sphere in all my years on this terrestrial ball. To lie with impunity, day in, day out. To be effective in gaslighting one third of the American populace. To say whatever, whenever to keep his base pumped.

And by his base, besides the low intellect, non reading crew, I'm also thinking of the Paula White's, the Darrell Scott's and the Franklin Graham's. They've sold their souls and hocked their integrity for supreme court gains, treating people at the border like crap, and rolling back women's rights. I can't believe how integrity seems to mean so little today. I can only pray that this new normal, of lying and cheating others for whatever gain does not catch on more than it has. I pray we never become anesthetized to the crazy.

Let's not forget to teach our wee ones to have integrity. Let's especially remind our young adults. The lack of it is not new, as there is nothing new under the sun. But in my humble opinion, it's vanishing, slowly. Little things like keeping your word. I believe and was taught, word is bond. You do not commit yourself to anything and do not follow through. Try not to get caught up in the moment and commit to something, if you later will regret it. Because the bottom line is no matter how you feel, you said you would. On the job, in friendships, in relationships, in church, EVERYWHERE. Say what you mean and mean what you say. It's all about integrity.

I'm happy to say that most I associate with have integrity. I wouldn't be able to deal with them if they did not. We all know people who don't however. While I find it hard to be straight up disagreeable to people who've not harmed me personally, I treat them with a long handled spoon, as my beloved mom used to say. Hi and by. The ones whom are family members, my reaction is pretty much the same. Some people you just must love from afar.

So those of you whom this doesn't apply to, we cool. The rest, if it hit you, it wasn't meant to miss you.

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Pancreatic Cancer Part 2

There are three stages of Pancreatic cancer. They are as follows:

•  Resectable: The tumor nodules can be removed
•  Locally advanced: The cancer has spread to areas surrounding the pancreas, such as tissues or blood vessels
• Metastatic: The cancer resides in multiple organs

Sometimes, doctors use a classification system based on four numeric stages. This is known as the

AJCC(American Joint Committee on Cancer) staging system and is used for a variety of different cancers types, including pancreatic cancer. Using the pancreatic cancer staging system, doctors differentiate when the disease spread to the tissue surrounding the pancreas(stage II) and when cancer has reached the blood vessels near the pancreas (stage III). This system still acknowledges the advanced stage of pancreatic cancer as metastatic.

Other times, a grade level is given to pancreatic cancer. Much like the stages of pancreatic cancer, grades help classify how aggressive the tumor is, and how likely it is to grow and spread to surrounding tissue and other locations in the body. Grade levels range between 1 and 4 with G1(grade 1) denoting cancers that look similar to normal cells, and G4(grade 4) denoting cancer cells that are highly abnormal in appearance.

Types of Pancreatic cancer.

Every pancreatic patient is different. Pancreatic cancer is classified into two main types: those that form in the exocrine gland and those that form in the endocrine gland. About 95% of pancreatic cancers begin in the exocrine(enzyme producing) cells of the pancreas. Most of the pancreas is made of exocrine cells, and most tumors affecting these cells are called adenocarcinomas. Found in many other cancers, including breast, prostate and lung, adenocarcinomas most often form in glads that secrete fluids. Pancreatic adenocarcinomas most often form in the exocrine cells found in pancreas ducts. Treatment for adenocarcinomas of thte pancreras is based on the stage and size of the tumor.

Endocrine tumors: These tumors are less common and are most often benign. Though rare, cancer stemming from a pancreatic endocrine tumor(PET) affects the hormone-producing cells. These

tumors are also called islet cell tumors or neuroendocrine tumors.

Risk factors for pancreatic cancer.

Each year, more than 55,000 Americans are diagnosed with cancer of the pancreas. Now one knows if or when the disease will develop, but understanding the risk factors for pancreatic cancer may help you take measures to reduce the likelihood of getting the disease.

What causes pancreatic cancer?

Cancer of the pancreas is caused when mutated cells grow out of control, forming a tumor. While the exact cause is not known, certain risk factors are strongly linked to the disease including tobacco smoking and obesity. Also, people with a hereditary cancer syndrome or specific genetic mutations have a higher risk or develop the disease.

Known risk factors. Age, with nearly 90% of all pancreatic cancers found in people 55 and older

Gender, with cancer somewhat more common in men than women. Obesity. Diabetes. Chronic panceatitis. Cirrhosis of the liver. Helicobactor pylon(H.pylori) infection . Almost one third of pancreatic cancers is linked to smoking cigarettes. Carcinogens(cancer causing chemicals) found in tobacco products may damage the pancreas, and smoking may add to the risks associated with other conditions, like long-term inflammation of the pancreas(chronic pancreatitis). Likewise, the risk of diabetes and obesity may also be greater if an individual smokes.

Genetic. About 10% of the pancreatic cancers are thought to be related to genetic factors, meaning an inherited gene mutation is passed on from parents to their children. Although these genetic conditions do not directly cause pancreatic cancer, they may increase your risks for developing the disease.

Next week, signs of pancreatic cancer and treatments.

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Patience... Not For The Faint Of Heart

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. James 1:2-4 NKJV

Every. Single. Morning. I exit the Borman aka 80/94 W and merge on to 912 aka Cline Ave N. At about a half a mile from the off ramp traffic is backed up. Every. Single. Morning. Tuesdays and Thursdays are especially bad, and Saturday mornings are a breeze. But five days a week I am pushed to the brink of insanity. Stop go, stop go and on and on and on. In addition to this, the service road unloads and these considerate souls bogard their way in front of many of us. It's maddening. And in full disclosure, sometimes when I hit a certain point I get over just a little so no one else can merge ahead of me. I have to get to work too! They don't care, they're trying to as well. Construction is still in full swing in Northwest Indiana, and I suffer the consequences of this most of the year at some point in traffic or another.

Then, there are times I'm in the checkout at the grocers. Like clockwork, the person ahead of me

has a dispute with a price, or something is not marked at all. Then the ten minute CSI investigation begins. Now, this has happened to me as well, so I make sure all my items are clearly marked or in the weekly flyer. In order to avoid holding up the line, if something slips past me, I'll tell the cashier, to forget about that particular item, because, hey, I'm considerate like that. People have places to be and things to do. As do I. But has anyone EVER afforded me that courtesy, HECK NO!

In the first scenario, I must admit, I've never been late due to the constant irritating traffic I must deal with daily. I don't even let it affect my day, as a rule, because it's never made me late. But it does destroy my peace, my Phil Jackson type Zen, as I try so hard to hold onto to it as arrive at my BELOVED job. But almost daily I forget I'm never late, despite the madness that takes me out of character and jacks me for my peace. The market, pretty much the same, I never stop to realize in the moment that I go when it's most convenient for me, that I'm in no rush and time is not an issue. Then why on earth do these type of occurrences drive me to distraction. In a word, patience. Or lack of thereof. I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO PATIENCE. My mom used to tell me she was gonna to pray I'd get some, and I'd beg her not to. I know God, personally, and I have a good idea of how he works. You ask for patience, or someone does on your behalf, and you will go through so much stuff, that you'll be on the mat, face down screaming, UNCLE! Nah, I'll pass. That's what my high blood pressure pills are for, right? Life's inconveniences that make you crazy and raise it. So nooooo I do NOT pray for patience. I don't need that kinda drama in my life. I think it's hereditary though, because my beloved dad had none as well. NOT. ONE. DROP. Apple-Tree.

But lately, when I get to that spot in traffic, or something on another level my life isn't moving fast enough I remember that God's timing is perfect. God knows what we need, when we need it, better than we do. If we try to force some desire, it's probably going to be a messy outcome. and not God's best for us. I force myself to relax and remember, I've not been late due to the abysmal roads in Northwest Indiana. I breathe. I turn up the radio louder and try to relax. It actually worked Thursday(a really bad traffic day) and Friday. It's OK. It really is! The job isn't going anywhere, and apparently I can't either, so I force myself to calm down. I might even let one of the bogarders get in ( one), and that's OK to.

I have a sister friend Peaches, who exudes patience. She drives me crazy with that! She is thee most patient person I know. Oh it's sooo irritating. But she's always so right. What is getting all worked up accomplishing??  "Girl, you need to calm down." Ugh... but she'd be so proud. She's always been like this. All Zen. Calm Cool Collected. She's not popping pressure pills, and her hair is basically still dark.

In the listing of Fruits of the spirit, patience is number four, behind love, joy and peace, but ahead of

kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. So to come before kindness and goodness, it's position must mean it's really really important to have.

So while I'm on this patience journey, please be patient with me.

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Pancreatic Cancer Awareness Month

For the first couple of Fridays I will be dispensing information on this dreaded disease. An overview.

Pancreatic cancer is said to be one of the more rare cancers, so says the Mayo Clinic. I cannot tell, because this is the disease that took my mom from me and it seems I'm constantly hearing of someone who has been diagnosed with it. Fewer than 200,000 cases are diagnosed each year.

Pancreatic cancer is a cancer that begins in the organ lying behind the lower part of the stomach(pancreas). Pancreas secretes enzymes that aid digestion and hormones that help regulate the metabolism of sugars. This type of cancer is often detected late,        and reads quickly and has a poor prognosis.

Symptoms.
A medical diagnosis is required. There are no symptoms in the early stages. Later stages are associated with symptoms, but these can be non-specific, such as lack of appetite and weight loss. Also experienced is pain the abdomen or middle back, fluid in the abdomen or nausea, body fatigue or loss of appetite, dark urine and yellow skin and eyes.  

 

Treatment depends on the stage.
Treatment may include surgically removing the pancreas, radiation and chemotherapy. Lastly palliative care.

Specialists.
Oncologist, who is a specialist in cancer is the doctor who will diagnose the disease.
Palliative medicine, who focuses on improving the quality of life for those with severe illnesses
General surgeon.
Gastroenterologist.

Pancreatic cancer is treatable when caught early. The vast majority of cases are not diagnosed until too late. Five year survival rates approach 25% if the cancers are surgically removed while they are still small and have not spread to the lymph nodes.

As stated, this is somewhat of a rare disease, and the number of people who succumb to it is horribly high. Next week I will share the various stages of this disease.

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