Come And Talk To Me/ Let's Have A Conversation

A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion. Proverbs 18:2 ESV
If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.  Proverbs 18:13 ESV

We can go through an entire day and do nothing but hear what is said. But listening today is almost a lost art. Hearing is simply sound. Listening is soaking in the conversation and responding in kind. It's said we listen to respond, but I think we hear to respond, because listening requires intent(see 2nd Proverb above).

We are a people who no longer communicate verbally. We text, we email, and if we really like someone, we'll facetime. We are more connected than ever, however the gulf between us, many times is akin to an ocean. We check our phones if they ring and grudgingly pick up to speak. Our preference today seems texting. We can go weeks without hearing a voice via our communication device. Ditto email. There is such a disconnect today(pun intended). Human exchange is almost a thing of the past. Even the elderly are texting. Babies can spend hours face down in their parents devices.

The problem is, the nuances, the tone, none of that comes through on a text. A disagreement via

text does not let one really know the level of disgruntlement, because it is more difficult to gauge in text. Deep conversations can go south quickly through text. Or there is no dialogue at all. Sweetness and light is easily conveyed thru text and email with all the little heart emojis. But the hard conversations suffer greatly.

Why don't we choose to speak verbally to one another anymore? Why are a few key strokes preferable to speaking with someone directly? We argue through text. I learned we quit jobs through text. We share intimate details with others through text. Teachers contact us about our children through text. We break up through text. Or we don't bother to respond at all and ghost the person altogether. If you agree you can get test results through text. TEXT!TEXT!! TEXT!!!

I understand there are a myriad of reasons why people prefer to text. Conversations are ended more quickly. We're busy and don't have the time to devote to certain conversations, especially unpleasant ones. I think texting is good for when you're on the go and don't want to give a stranger admittance into your conversation. I love to hear the smile in someone's voice. Or to confirm plans and hear the excitement and even the disappointment to cancelled ones. We just don't really talk anymore.

When I mull it over, the lack of communication, leads me to believe God is not pleased. He

wants us to communicate with one another. He did give us voices. We could have been mutes. He's

probably like, I gave them voice and they don't use it. Communicating with others makes life more liveable.  Exciting. It's infinitely more exhilarating chatting with someone with no filter verbally than through text. We cheat ourselves out of a lot of good times, I think, with all the texting. It's just sad. We are so disjointed.

Now, full disclosure, I do text. But I also talk with people. I love to talk to the ones who make me laugh. That deep belly laugh you can only get through dialogue. The almost pee your pants gut laughter. I have a couple of friends that take me there, and it's such a blessing, in this stress filled world. Even painful discussions are better through voice. You can hear the comfort in another's voice before they even offer words of comfort. Isn't that preferable to texting? At all? 

So I challenge you die-hard texters to pick up the phone(after you text  them and tell them you're going to phone them- lol) and have a voice conversation. I know you won't regret it. Let's bring back the art of talking. Or maybe my age is showing?

Kupendana
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The Best Gift Ever

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.  Psalm 90:12 NIV

Once a year, if you’re reading this, and you are, you’ve been the recipient of something that everyone doesn’t get. Sometimes for whatever reason, you stop being on the receiving end. Only God knows and makes the decision to bestow this particular blessing on you and me. In His infinite wisdom, he lavishes love on us with a big splash once a year. Until He doesn't, and it's time to go home.

It’s a gift no one else can give you. Not spouses, not children, not parents(grand or otherwise), that aunt/uncle nor siblings, that lights up your life. NO ONE. Only God. It’s better than platinum, diamonds and rubies. It’s absolutely priceless and no one can afford to buy one for themselves or anyone else.

A birthday

That one day a year, your born day,  that is the biggest blessing of all. The day that gives you more

time to fix yourself, your relationships and most importantly, to deepen your relationship with the Creator. On that day most feel immense joy. Others become introspective. And some, sadly, are depressed. The depressed, in my humble, don’t realize how momentous the occasion is. If they would just look around at all the good they have going on, and sometimes, admittedly, for some it’s hard for them to see, but if they focused really hard with a spirit of gratitude, I believe it would help them better enjoy the day. If they could only realize that many didn’t get the gift, then perhaps that could help lighten their spirits. I’ve known people that once they hit forty they some how feel all is lost. I don’t understand that at all. I’ve worked with a woman who locked herself in her office and cried all day at the dawn of forty. I won’t dedicate anymore time to the ungrateful ones. Hopefully they’ll work that out.

I’m so grateful myself. I’ve had so many misfortunes reversals and heartbreak. But I’m still standing.

And each new birthday has taught me the true meaning of the old gospel song, “thru it all, thru it all, I’ve learned to trust in Jesus, I’ve learned to trust in God. Thru it all, thru it all, I learned to depend upon His word.” So I wake up joy filled, go introspective for awhile, and then I go full celebratory mode. I’ve had great birthdays all by myself. I’ve had parties I’ve thrown and two surprises(thank you momma/daughter).

I refuse to be down on the day I get the best gift ever. Another year of life. As my beloved pastor always says, we celebrate them at my church, because, truthfully speaking, they’re not easy to come by. 

So thank you Abba Father for born day number 62! I’ll try to be better this year and make this year one for the record books. Thank You  Lord for 62 years of life.

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Love Yourself So Others Can Too

You shall love your neighbor as yourself.  Matthew 22:39  NKJV

Makeup is a billion dollar industry worldwide. Women, and men, of late, are resorting to makeup at much younger years as a way to enhance their beauty. This crosses all socio-economic spheres, races and again, sexes.

The same can be said of diets and exercise routines. We diet and eat

sometimes, next to nothing in order to better obtain the physique we desire. Exercise does tend to promote better health, but many times this is not the goal. Women endure countless hours of squats to have what they deem the perfect bottom. Men pump iron to look like a wrestler in his prime. 

We go through so much for our outer package. I do too. I cannot imagine not a little something here and a little something there before I leave the house. I am my mother’s child, after all. My mom would NEVER leave home not well put together. She used to say, there’s not a beauty in the world that doesn’t use a little enhancement.

Whether you use any products or not is up to the individual. I admire Alicia Keys to the utmost, and no shade intended, but she always looks tired. But again, her decision. Ditto exercise routines. I hit the gym for stress relief and hope the reduction in stress will lead me to get better health. Health is life. Life is health.

But what I’ve come to see is that many of us have pretty/handsome outsides but inside, we’re a mess. Many times this messiness comes

from our lack of self love. We are instructed to love God and one another as WE DO OURSELVES. That’s key. Far too many of us don’t love ourselves. We just substitute it for prettying up the package, that hides self doubt, disillusionment and despair. We’re dying inwardly because we’ve not learned to love us. Ourselves.

God made each of us magnificent in our own unique way. I encourage you to find the beauty of yourself that others and you cannot see. Once found, love on you like a long lost love. Speak life to yourself. Speak peace. Speak

blessings  TO YOU! We find it so easy to do it for others, but rarely lavish this time of love on ourselves. After you wake in the morning and after thanking the Ancient of Days for another day, while you’re in the mirror compliment yourself and start letting that self love pump through your veins. It will do wonders for your day. 

It’s said you really can’t love someone if you cannot love yourself. Loved ones will say, "love you." To me that's a reminder, unbeknownest to them, to love oneself. If you love someone, you'll say, should say, "I love you." So follow their advice. Pour into yourself and let others catch the overflow. Be kind to yourself. You deserve it. God says you’re fearfully and wonderfully made. Remember that. Then spread the love around.

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We Are Blessed

Thou shall be blessed in the city, and blessed shall thou be in the field.  Deuteronomy 23:3 KJV

It's always hilarious and sad to me how some people equate being blessed only monetarily. It seems for many being flush with cash is the only indicator of being blessed. Never a thought of waking up each morning, moving out of bed, being able to dress yourself, having clothes, something to do and the list goes on and on. Why that doesn't count totally escapes me? Every good and perfect gift comes from above, the Bible says. But to some, unless it's a big splash, they're just not blessed. How ridiculous is that? The biggest blessings don’t come with a big red blow. The biggest are the ones we take for granted each day. Waking. Sleeping. Health. Family. Church. Friends. The simple things.

I know most of you already know this. So let's try to inform those whom don't have this knowledge. Blessed is many things, to many people, but on most things we can agree. Our kids are healthy and thriving. We're not homeless and have the means to get around according to our whims and that which we choose to do. Everyone doesn't have it like that.

Some don't feel blessed because of past misdeeds. They feel as if God has no use for them. This

couldn't be further from truth. We've all done things. We've all got those skeletons buried so deep in the back of the closet, sometimes we forget they're there. We forget we're not perfect, which in our minds gives us license to judge others. God must really marvel at our hypocricy. I can understand the ones that feel unworthy though. Been there. I've done some things that I am sure, that while God doesn't turn His back on us, I believe, in my sanctified imagination that maybe He shuts His eyes, or lowers them, because He cannot tolerate sin. I thank Him that while His eyes are shut/lowered, in my mind, my guardian angel, Beverly, I call her, keeps me, as sort of His proxy. I've said some things, that I could never in a thousand years make up for. I try so hard now to keep those skeletons at bay.
And do you know why? Because I know God loves me. And He loves you. And when He told Paul to let us know nothing can separate us from His love, He means it. God is not a man that He could lie.

The other day, while riding to work, I remembered the time God blessed me that huge, better than a million dollar blessing. I was accused of riding past an ex's home and shooting it up. Yes ME! And apparently, I had my daughter, who was a toddler in the back seat, not restrained, and my son in front with me. I would've had to reach across my son to shoot up that house! So I'm just committing criminal recklessness in the presence of the two most precious people on earth to me. Right? I had a bench trial in Crown Point and everything. I remember being so afraid, I talked to my then pastor about just taking a plea just to be done with it. Rev. Arrington asked me, very directly, why would you admit to something you didn't do? And while I was listening to him, I was thinking about the five years and the ten thousand dollar fine I could have gotten. Lost my job. My kids. Everything. In court my heart was beating so fast I kept asking my attorney, what the noise was. He kept shushing me. I realized it was my heart because I was so terrified. I had no one in court with me but my mom and my attorney, and God. He had a couple of witnesses who said it was me. But when the last witness took the stand against me, I believe God moved upon his heart and he couldn't keep the lie going. He rebutted everything said before him. It was surreal. When the judge told me I was free to go, my mom and me turned Judge Nicholas Schiralli's court room into a church. We shouted all over that court room as my accuser and his crew slinked out. I remember seeing my attorney who was Jewish shrugging his shoulders and the judge motioning to him to let us be. I WILL NEVER FORGET THAT DAY. The day I understood that all blessings don't come in large denominations. That despite the crappy stuff I'd done in the past, God loved my crazy self. He delivered me from evil.

I see others blessed all the time. Friends and associates who've gone several rounds with various cancers and kicked its butt. I had people I care deeply for lose children. Sharifa lost Lauren Laila. She now goes out of her way to continue in the tradition of her daughter and spends time with young ladies, mentoring. She has even started a foundation to fund research for the disease that took her daughter from her. The other, Connie, Rev Connie to y'all, lost her only child, Tiffany. She now ministers to mothers who've lost children.  She has a yearly event to minister to them. They've not just been blessed, and survived what probably could have killed them,  but they are an enormous blessing to others.  They've both been given beauty for ashes. God does that. Also. I had some of my friends, and myself go through divorce, heart broken and depressed to go on and find other relationships that are beautiful like Sheila's. I have a facebook friend that was crossing the street and was hit by a Cadillac Escalade. It knocked her through the air and another car ran over her. She was in the hospital for a LONG time, as you can imagine. Therapy and the whole nine. You'd never know it too look at her, as she's pretty. The tiniest of scars on her face. Her legs are a different story, but she walks. She works. She cares for her grands. She shops. She shops some more. I'm telling on you Shantel Denise. And she has thee most wicked sense of humor of anyone I know, and I love reading her posts.

You can't buy blessings. I don't care how much money you have. I think what I love most about blessings is the sometimes randomness of them. You don't expect it, then BAM! Or maybe you prayed your heart out and God gave you the desire of it. However it arrives, it's beautiful and should be appreciated. The blessing of a new day. Gas that lasts til payday. Cabinets and frig full. All

blessings. The key is to stop discounting life's little blessings, so focused on the huge ones. I love seeing all you guys blessed. I celebrate unbeknownst to you, with you a lot. Like my pastor, Dr. Jackson says, when God is blessing around us, He's in the neighborhood. That's shout worthy right there!

And remember, thank you makes room for more.      


We're blessed in the city, we're blessed in the field
We're blessed when we come and when we go
We cast down every stronghold
Sickness and poverty must cease
For the devil is defeated
We are blessed.
Fred Hammond & Radical For Christ.

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