Black And Missing In America

Mother, mother
There's far too many of you crying.... "What's Going On", by Marvin Gaye, Alfred Cleveland & Renaldo Benson  1971

According to statistics, black children go missing at a higher rate than white children.

Remember the story of Jayme Closs, the 13 yr old Wisconsin girl who was kidnapped after both her parents were killed? It was national news. But the story of Ariana Fitts, a two year old girl who went missing in 2016, before her mom was found brutally murdered in the bay area of San Francisco, hardly garnered a blip on national news. Both cases were both compelling and equally devastating, however the two did NOT receive the same amount of media coverage. Some experts believe it is because Closs is white and Fitts is not.

In fact, data reveals that missing white kids receive far more media attention than that of their black or brown counterparts, despite high number of missing children within communities of color.
The  FBI's national crime information center database lists 424K+ missing children under 18 in 2018, the most recent year data is available. Nearly 37% are black, even though black kids make up only 14% of all children in the U.S. 

It’s hard to determine how many Hispanics kids are missing since the FBI lumps both groups(whites and Latinos) together. Other reports show 20% of missing kids are Latino according to Robert Lowery, Vice President of the Missing Child division at the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC). But the real number is probably higher. He goes in to say he feels there’s a false belief that white kids make up the biggest number of missing kids, when in fact(proportionally), it’s just the opposite. Finally, he admits that the number of missing black girls is particularly concerning.

Here are three reasons experts say we don’t hear more about children color:

1). Families are reluctant to call police. Some families are hesitant to call even when the think their child is missing. Families of color distrust of law enforcement, say Natalie Wilson, CO-founder of the Black and Mussing Foundation. They contributed to the “no snitching code” it silence, Wilson added that’s important for people who suspect a child is missing to speak up.  Other families are hesitant because they feel it may unintentional negative consequences. An example can be an undocumented members in families maybe be afraid of being deported in the Hispanic communities.

2).  They don’t get as much media attention. News media organizations have been criticized for not giving black and brown kids the attention white children gets. A 2010 study found black children were significantly in represented in TV news, even though a third of all missing kids are black, and they make up 20% of the missing children cases covered in the news. In 2015 the picture was more bleak. Though black kids account for 35% of the missing children on the FBI database only roughly 7% received media coverage.

3)  Families don’t have the financial resources to respond appropriately when their child is missing. No private investigator, no being able to take much needed time from work and no time for follow ups with law enforcement and media. Wilson states that many have the misconception they must wait 48 hours before filing a missing persons report, when actually this varies by jurisdiction. DC and Illinois don’t have a waiting period to report a missing child.Knowing the laws is imperative when a child is missing.

What can be done, in expensively is posting flyers and the like to get the word out.  Facebook offers

an online community for parents to alert the public about their missing child, and ask others who’ve had similar experiences to see what they did to get their children back.

Lastly....
Some get classified as runaways.
When most people think of missing children, they think of young children abducted by strangers. But missing children can refer to kids who are abducted by relatives or children who leave home, either voluntarily or after being lured by someone else. Many missing kids of color are classified as runaways, Wilson states. And while running away from home isn't a problem unique to nonwhite children, they are particularly vulnerable.
A significant number of nonwhite children who go missing are either homeless or in foster care, Wilson says, and many are at risk for sex trafficking. Date shows black children are overrepresented in foster care and are at much higher risk for homelessness.

Law enforcement other classify children of color as runaways with having all the details, Wilson said. Because those kids are considered to have voluntarily left home. Amber alerts aren't sent out about them and they typically aren't covered in the news. Runaway cases and abductions by family members don't get the same attention that abductions by non-family members or strangers. The NCMEC no longer distinguishes between runaways and abductions on their posters of missing children. Frankly, we were dealing with a desensitized public and media when we did that, Lowery said. Now if you check our website, our children are just listed as missing. Wilson stressed that runaway cases should be treated with the same urgency. She further added, "we have to be mindful of what did they leave from, and what are they ultimately running to. Some children get classified  as runaways when they are truly missing, Wilson stated. She went on to say that she tells parents you know your children better than anyone, their behavior, their circumstances. If you believe your child did not run away, you must stand firm when dealing with law enforcement, and let them know this is uncharacteristic of your child. Make them do their jobs and help you locate your child.

AND PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO READ AN ARTICLE SPEAKING OF A MISSING CHILD OR CHILDREN. AS STATED ABOVE, THE PUBLIC BECOMES DESENSITIZE WITH THE ABUNDANCE OF MISSING CHILDREN. PLEASE DO NOT KEEP CHILDREN IN YOUR FACEBOOK ROTATION WITHOUT CHECKING TO SEE IF THEY ARE FOUND!

Next Friday, we will explore why so many black women vanish. I realize this is not a pleasant topic, but we MUST be aware, to be better able to thwart all these abductions.

Ninakupenda.
Kupendana

Where Is The Love?

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:13 NIV

Merram-Webster has numerous definitions of love. The 4th definition is most apropos for this blog.
4a. unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another: such as 1. the fatherly concern of God for humankind kind. 2.brotherly concern for others 3. a person's adoration of God.

All one has to do is watch the evening news to see how unloving this world has become. People film footage of all kinds of accidents instead of calling the proper authorities, seriously impacting, negatively, the life of the injured. Instead of calling the police for brawls, phones again, are whipped out, only to be shared on Facebook live or World Star. People crave entertainment in whatever form they can get. If someone dies, is maimed or even overdoses, today's populace prefer to film it, rather than try to end the suffering. Hearts are hardened. Very few seem to care. In the words or Roberta Flack and Donny Hathaway, WHERE IS THE LOVE??? Why is entertainment so much more preferable than lending a helping hand?

I feel the reason for this is how we are bombarded with so much ugliness, day in, day out, that slowly but surely, we're losing out humanity. Mayhem on television, movies and the nightly news. We're also shown life's degradation on social media While it

should be gratifying to have an ambulance pull up to treat the injured, today, it's almost a disappointment. Again, I ask, WHERE IS THE LOVE?

Ever notice how many likes feel good stories get on Facebook or Instagram. It's extremely heartwarming to see little second graders raising money to replenish the lunch accounts of their classmates unable to do so. Or that teen going out in freezing/scorching weather to shovel snow/cut grass for aged neighbors. What about the one where the fast food worker takes the time to feed the customer with Parkinson's disease.  And the cops who live up to their creed to SERVE and protect, run out and buy car seats to avoid giving a young mom a ticket because she cannot afford a child seat.  All of these  stories uplift. It's a reminder that there is goodness in the world today. Dare I say it,  love. I really think we're hardwired to love from birth. But then our upbringing, circumstances, and hateful rhetoric from those who look like us stifle this feeling, this desire to share and give love.

Faith is a wonderful thing. A firm belief in something, or that something will occur for which there is no proof. Hope, too is a wonderful thing. As long as you are breathing, there's hope for any situation.  Hope is an optimistic attitude of mind based on expectation or desire. Faith says it is so NOW, and hope says in the future it could happen.

But the greatest of these is love. Love. Agape (Ancient Greek) is a Greco-Christian term referring to love, "the highest form of love, charity" and the "love of God for man and of man for God." When you have this type of love, for God, that love, in turn, reaches out to others. Others, outside of the four walls of your home or church. There are four main types of love, Storge- empathy bond. Philia- friend bond. Eros- romantic love, and Agape- unconditional God love.

God's love for us, Agape is unconditional. Our love for one another should be unconditional. But He requires we must rise to the occasion, put the phone done, and get them the help they need. Ok you don't like them. But love will make you move. Love will make you do the right thing. Love.

We, as humans, have conditions for everything. If you don't do this, I'll withhold my love. If you do that, I'll withhold my love. This is so opposite the love we are to emulate. To strive for.  God says the greatest of the three is love. But we struggle with that. It really shouldn't be so difficult, since we're directed to do so. But it can be. People treat us poorly and not only do we cease to love them, if we're not careful, hate creeps in. Conversely, some people, although we love them, for our sanity, we must keep them at arm's length. To love them from afar. But loving one another is a mandate. God wants, no, God expects adherence to this request.

The best way to accomplish this is to follow the golden rule. Treat others as you'd like to be treated. The kindness you want bestowed on you, bestow it on others. Love. Love it not easy. This is a hateful world, chock full of people who will push your buttons, simply because they know where they are and can. Loveless people run governments, municipalities, and schools. Loveless people shoot up neighborhoods and blocks they'll never own killing innocent people in the wake.

Martin L. King Jr. said, "Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend.

So let's try to love one another. Really love each other. And yes, you won't like everyone, but despite themselves and you, you can love them. Just respect them. Start there. Ask God to help you love people you've deemed unlovable. So see them through His eyes.

What the world need now, is love, sweet love, it's the only thing that there's much too little of.
What the world needs now is love, sweet love, No not just for some, but for everyone.
Burt Bacharach/Hal David~~Songwriters.

Ninakupenda
Kupendana  

The Antidote To Loneliness

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you, He will never leave you nor forsake you.  Deuteronomy 31:6 NIV

Merram-Webster describes loneliness as: 1a)being without company b) cutoff from others 2) not frequented by human beings 3) sad from being alone 4) producing a feeling of bleakness or desolation.

It's a natural human feeling. If you are alone or feeling unwanted or unloved or something similar, you're going to feel lonely. Feeling lonely all of the time could mean that you're longing for something more than what you currently have to fill your loneliness. LiveAbout 2/20/18

Actually, feeling lonely has little to do with how many friends you have. It's the way you feel inside. Some people who feel lonely may rarely interact with people and others are surrounded by people, but don't feel connected. Loneliness means there is a discomfort-- you want to be more connected to others. Dr. Amy Sullivan states that someone who's socially isolated and doesn't have a lot of social contacts

may not feel lonely at all. She goes on to say that loneliness today is an epidemic. We are the most socially connected society, yet so many people experience extreme loneliness. Psychology Today 1/13/2013

Feeling lonely is an unpleasant experience that can also have long-term health consequences. When you're experiencing loneliness, your levels of cortisol, a stress hormone, goes up, she says. Cortisol can impair cognitive performance, compromise the immune system. Loneliness is also a risk factor for more serious mental health problems suck as depression and anxiety. Researchers have found that loneliness is just as lethal as smoking 15 cigarettes per day. Lonely people are 50% more likely to die prematurely that those with healthy social relationships. It can be absolutely lethal to people of advanced age. Stress will also affect you more if you're lonely, vascular problems, inflammation and heart disease. 1/22/19 Psychology Today.

So with all of that, how can one combat loneliness? What's the best way to come out of self?

Remembering, we're truly never alone. The One who created you longs to be closer to you. If you'll let Him. He's the best companion EVER. You can talk to him at 3pm and just as easily at 3am. You never have to worry about disturbing the One who never sleeps nor slumbers. He's closer than hands and feet. Just open you mouth, your mind and your heart. You'll feel His presence and soon, if you keep seeking Him you'll hear His voice. It's really up to you. You decide how lonely you choose to be. You and only you.

There are activities you can become involved in. Hobbies, sports, church activities. But first you must exit your comfort zone. There are number humanitarian and charitable ventures to can join in on, and by doing that, not only lift yourself, but others as well. Put yourself out there, if possible.

So let me leave you with a song written by Rogers and Hammerstein.

When you walk through a storm. Hold your head up high. And don't be afraid of the dark.
At the end of a storm, there's a golden sky. And the sweet silver song of a lark.
Walk in through the wind. Walk on through the rain. Though your dreams be tossed and blown.

Walk on, walk on
With hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone. You'll never walk alone
Walk on, walk on,
With hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone
You'll never walk alone.

Remember, everybody who smiles isn't happy, and everyone who cries isn't sad. Check on your friends and family you've not seen in awhile.

Ninakupenda
Kupendana

A Closed Mouth Doesn't Get Fed.

Small business Saturday is the day designated to shop with the mom and pops. This is the day after Black Friday. Local businesses that depend heavily on the patronage of family, friends and neighbors.

Whether you own your own candle business, do taxes, print T-shirts, own a travel agency, or do hair/braids or home repairs,

entrepreneurs, such as these rely on word of mouth and people breaking with the big box stores or established well know businesses.

With that said, I invite you to share your business here on my blog.

Shout out your business here. Let us know what you do, and how to contact you. C'mon, it couldn't hurt. Don't just survive in your business, THRIVE!

Everyone Says To Do It, But No One Says How.

Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you. 1Peter 5:7  NLT

Everything that sounds good, religious and pious is not for everyone. Teach it, don't preach it.

In just about every negative situation, or something that has happened with adverse events, we are instructed to ‘Let Go and Let God.’

What many fail to realize is, though the person uttering this phrase to you probably has your very best interests at heart, this is hardly what one wants to hear. People love to spout this expression. Thinking it’s something your can just snap your fingers and do. I can imagine this is difficult for most everyone, from the control freak type person to the most peaceful, go along to get along type.

For some, it’s hard letting go of just about everything in all honesty. How many of us have trouble

simply cleaning out a closet? You know chances are you’ll never wear that again. Somehow on the hanger it mysteriously shrunk. Or those shoes are no longer in vogue and probably no longer fit your feet. Removing the belongings of someone you loved and has gone on to be with the Lord is extremely difficult. Or those old towels that are practically thread bare. Or that favorite cracked bowl(ouch). That car we keep pouring more and more cash into, to avoid making car payments. All material things, but what of the relationship that no longer serves either of you, so you play the waiting game to see who’s going to leave first, somehow thinking you’ll be able to play victim and you view that as a better look, then just getting over it and letting go. We humans hate to let things go. We become pack rats or the ugly word, popularized on TV, "Hoarders," in our desire to cling to what no longer serves us, thinking one day we may need that broken toaster again. We’re stuck! Hanging on to hang on.

Keeping all that in mind, I NEVER tell anyone to let go and let God. I will pray, that when I see someone in one of the afore scenarios, that they are led to do so. I pray in my life to let go of whatever is no longer beneficial to me. But to tell someone to do that, when you don’t know how that will be received is wrong. Many of us don’t know how to just let go. I mean literally how’s it done? But I do know it’s a process and we all have to have a revelation or an epiphany that we must move on from whatever. But to tell someone to do it and you cannot explain how exactly to go about it is trite and unhelpful. Empty words that don’t help anyone feel better and probably worse, because they can’t seem to pull it off.

So again, if someone you know really needs to let God take it from there, pray they’ll see that’s what needs to be done, the inner resolve to do it, and patience with themselves as they try. Don’t add to their burden. Lovingly pray them through it.

Ninakupenda

Kupendana 

REMEMBER YOUR COMMENTS ARE YOUR ENTRIES! Comment comment comment

Strap In, My Mind's All Over The Place.

Randomness is defined as the quality or state of lacking a pattern or principle of organization; unpredictability.- Merriam-Webster 

Today’s Friday blog will be the total definition as described above.

It’s coming up on voting time. There’s all this talk of the undecideds. PLEASE! Everyone and their pets know who they’re voting for at this juncture. Why lie? Just say you don’t wanna say. I’m certain that all my readers will be voting. My challenge is to get those who seem lackadaisical to turn out. Furthermore, the silly ones who really think their vote doesn’t matter, be sure to take aim at them. Especially if they’re melanin infused, because this current administration doesn’t give a damn about them. They should want to make them. 

Next up, this weather! What in tarnation is with this spring like weather in early January in the Midwest? Forecast is 50s today! But some really stupid people, especially many inhabitants of DC with focus on the senate and the oval don’t believe it to be true. If this ain’t climate change I don’t know

what is? Then when a child brings it front and center the idiot mocks her. It’s easy to make fun of that which you don’t understand. 

Following weather is respect. We can never agree to disagree. Someone always has to have the very last word, which can drag on disagreements for hours, days or weeks. Sometimes the disagreement devolves into something worse. Name calling(i.e. 45). People cannot and will not always agree with every word that flows off the highway of your tongue. And guess what...? That’s ok and we have to learn to be ok with it. This nation has never walked lock step, but it found ways to meet somewhere in the middle to find some commonality and go from there. That, sadly has come to an abrupt end. Him vs her. They vs we. And it goes on and on.

Money in politics. It really needs to go. It’s a shame that some people who could really move this country forward have been forced to drop out for lack of funding. The people who would benefit the most from their policies cannot afford to contribute as they’d like. I gave to one campaign, only to have him suspend his campaign due to lack of funding. He had really good ideas and a heart for the little guy. But the billionaires keep rolling merrily along. One is funding his own campaign which keeps him out the debates. But apparently that doesn’t matter. The other takes money solely to get into the debates because he doesn’t need it. We’ll never get a man or woman of the people like this.

And last, but not least, relationships. Those who’ve experienced long term ones should write a book. From age 8-80 there’re fools out here. I hear it from both sexes. People have issues they haven’t dealt with and bring the issues to new relationships. Childhood traumas rear its ugly head and there’s issues about that. Selfish people. Unkind people. Momma’s boys. Daddy’s girls. No matter the age. Damaged people seem to seek out loving people, who then, in turn, try to damage them. Breaking up. Making up. Ghosting. What the heck is going on? So maybe situationships are better? No expectations just the now. Only the now. Personally, I’ll pass.

So thanks for stopping by and allowing my random thoughts to run amok.

Sunday nights blog I will share who’s in the lead, the top two in the contest! REMEMBER TO COMMENT ON THE BLOG BECAUSE THAT’S YOUR ENTRY! 

After black Friday comes Small business Saturday. After next Friday's blog, in the comments, all you entrepreneurs get to shout out your business. I know of Avon sales. Mary Kay. Ms E's Travel. Seren'Lee's Candles. Fruition. Jamal Watkins. Party Planner. Face Care. C'mon. Shine!


Ninakupenda 

Now that the new year is here...

Living My Life Like Its Golden-- the gospel according to Jill Scott

New year new you. New Years resolutions are wonderful things. We want to tackle the world. The sale of self help books goes into the stratosphere. Weight Watchers commercials every five minutes. Lose those 20lbs. Hit the gym more. Eat healthier. Spend less. Save more. Less imbibing. More reading the Bible. Do more for others. Get a better job. Following that dream. And the list goes on and on and on. It’s good having great expectations for ourselves. Then March rolls around, our determination recedes and our lofty goals fall to the wayside.

It’s most rewarding to have those goals met. Accomplishing them makes us feel empowered. Invincible. However, and you knew there was one, or a but, the thing we need to do most, in my humble, is actually none of the above. 

Whether or not we’re aware of it, each day we open our eyes, we’re given a gift, that is absolutely

priceless. Something money cannot buy. Life. We’re given 24 hours each day to do with what we will. But, what do we do with it? Eat-sleep-work-repeat. We may veer off, but basically it’s the same thing day in day out. We humans are highly regimented.  If you’re like me, you become somewhat slightly irritated if something takes you off your carefully adhered to schedule. Have you noticed how very routine your life is? Sure, we run errands, go to church, pick up the dry cleaning, but it’s all a very carefully crafted schedule. I’m extremely guilty of this. I may throw dinner and a movie in, go shopping or get the car washed, but for the most part, if you think about it, the routine becomes us and we give little thought to it. We succumb to sameness. We exist. We exist to pay bills. We exist to take care of our families. We exist. It’s what we do best, we exist. Sadly, at the end of middle age, we sometimes forget we are not here solely to pay bills, keep doctors appointments, and babysit our beloved grandchildren.

Have you noticed from Thanksgiving through early February that the obituaries in the newspapers and on line reach tsunami proportions.. Young, old and everything in between leave here like the end of Marvel's Avengers Infinity War. Seems like Thanos himself has snapped his fingers and taken out a large section of the populace. My mom used to say the earth was purging itself to make room for new life. But it cuts like a knife, especially towards and at the end of the year.   

What should be at the top of our New Year’s resolutions is to LIVE! Growing our relationship with the Lord is a given. So after that, live the life we’ve been granted. Do something. No matter what ANYONE thinks, live your life. Can’t find anyone to share an adventure with you, go it alone. Try having a nice dinner at a restaurant alone. Sing loudly because you feel it. Wear that bright red lipstick. Eat the cake Anna Mae. Burst into dance just because it’s Wednesday. Take the scenic route home. Get lost on purpose.

Live!

Let’s  dispense with the routine and live. Life is meant to be lived. God didn’t give us this gift of life to just go to work, come home, sit around, doze in front of the tv and then drag yourself to bed. He said He’d give us life and more abundantly. Life isn’t abundant being a couch potato. Life is doing something new, with or without someone to share it with.

At the top of all the new year resolutions, write LIVE then do it. Try living in the moment. Kids

are great at this. When they’re going about their little lives, they’re never concerned about later, tomorrow or even yesterday. LIVE! Make it spectacular. Create some memories. Do something. If you fail, you learned something, dust yourself off and try it again. 

Even with all the bad, life is a beautiful and wonderful journey.  Saddle up and ride for all you’re worth. 

LIVE. YOUR. LIFE. You only get one.

Ninakupenda
Kupendana
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!